I wish i could instantly write a love poem to describe my lovely boyfriend...as, i'm not so good these days at poetry, i choose to photograph him everyday with my eyes and save those shots in my heart and let the world know how much i love him...
I meant to strat writing these lines long ago...but i always hesitated...thinking how i would feel reading...in time these words...and remembering everything.
I'm sad tonight like i have been lately because things happen' arround me and i can't do anything to stop them...to turn them into good things. Dragutelul meu...i waited so much to meet you...i didn't knew it will be you exactly the person i was wating here..in cluj...but i realised that in time. I fall inlove with your smile...althought i hated it at the beginning ...and thought you are un-attractive...the night when we when out and you took me to the coffe-shop in sigma.You were talking, and probably trying to impress me...but i coludn't understand what you were saying..i was just looking ...you had something, i colundn't say what ...but i liked it. As we keep on meeting i began to know you...and i discovered a wonderful person. I knew back then you weren't allowed for me..you were taken. I spend the hollidays that time trying to convince myself i shouldn't see you anymore..in other way than just friend...or acquaintance, and went partying every nite, met guys, girls, drunk a lot, got kissed with different guys to see and to prove to myself i don't care. But the harder i tried to lay to myself...the less i began to believe in my lay.
After we meet again...i couln't see you so unhappy...so sad...and i tried to do everything i could to help you pass the situation...and to respect your decisions. It was hard for me...to know i made love with you and you were thinking at the other. Then i decided to leave your life...i looked for another job...i said to myself i will have everything ready untill you come back from your Eastern vacantion in Greece. But you send me messages...and everyday that passed and you were there i missed you so much...i got butterfiles in my stomac thinking of you coming back...i remembered how good i felt when we went to Iasi and we stayed there..without none knowing us...i could fell your hand in mine...i could fell your breath in the mornings...and you came back...and i was so happy...and you made me yours in a way that none did...and never will.
I had greath moments...greath vacantion in greece...greath breakfasts in the bed that served as table, greath coffees, greath gifts. I had the best birthday in my life...just because i was with you...in your arms. I had greath moments...best of all...I learned a lot about myself, about love and relationship...and i learned how to love. I descovered myself and you....you that are everything i ever wished in a man...in the man that will stand next to me.
I believe we can only find true love once in a life...that ridiculous, uttter, romantic and passionate love. I found it...and i enjoyed it for a while. I tried to protect it...to make it grow...but not everything depended on me. You may say time heals everything, time will help you forget, time will bring other love or other emotions, time will give you that chance to meet other greath guys.But guess what? I don't want time to pass, i don't need it to help me do anything, i don't and i will not want to replace anything....cause my dragutel is unique, he was ....the one for me....eventhought i wasn't for him.
I promissed to myself i will go one day alone for a vacantion in greece. I want to discover as much as i will have the chance that country...to visit places and to believe that he once was there. Maybe one day he will understand how much i loved him...maybe not...maybe we will meet someday...somehow....but i know i will always keep his face in my heart.
I wish one day he will love someone the way i love him...and that person will love him back the same way...i wish he will be as happy as he deserves...
